The Puzzle of Life

As many of you probably seen on my Facebook page, I love doing puzzles.  Growing up I remember doing puzzles with my mom.  As my sisters would bundle up to go outside to play; I would convince my mom, my sisters and even myself that I wanted to join them.  I would struggle to put on all my gear and go outside trying to keep up with them.  It wouldn't be long until my body would start hurting and I would be cold.  I would come inside crying, because I felt left out.   To dry away my tears, my mom would suggest that we start a puzzle.  I loved doing puzzles with my mom.  Not only was it one on one time with her, she was also really good at them.  As my sisters would trickle in from the outside; they sometimes would join us.  I also remember doing puzzles during my hospital stays at the Shriners.  To get me up and out of bed, my mom would suggest we go to the playroom to start a puzzle.  The nurses always knew who would be working on the puzzle; my mom and I.  It was a good way to past the time in my recovery.

Five years ago, I had to go from working full time to part time.  This was a hard transition for me.  I wanted to be able to do what everybody else was doing, even in my work.   I felt guilty about not being able to work full time.  I also got board really fast, and didn't know what to do with my time; so I started doing puzzles.  

This last Christmas I received four new puzzles.  This new year started out rough, during January and Febuary, the Ranch saw the most snow in it's 15 years of being open.  To stay out of the snow and cold, I decided to start a puzzle.  My sister gave me a puzzle of the Nativity scene.  I picked this puzzle because I thought it be the easiest out of the four.  Having a lot of color; I thought it be easy.   Usually when starting a puzzle, I put together the border  first.   As I was starting the boarder, I soon realized that this was going to be harder then I thought.  I got the whole boarder expect the bottom.  The pieces were not going together easily.  So I thought start putting together the picture.   I decided to start with the brightness color; yellow.  I got easily fusterated as the pieces were not going together as easily as I would hope.  Even tough I thought the colors would be what made the puzzle easy, i found out that the colors were not well define as I thought.  

The more I been working on my puzzle, God is showing me that life is Ike a puzzle.  Sometimes I think my life should fit together as easy as I thought this puzzle would.  I have a picture in my mind of how my life should look.  I remember my mom telling us girls, "Don't get married until you are 30!"  I would think 30, I will be married WAY before  I'm 30.   But 30 came and went, and here I am almost 36  and still single.  My heart desire is to be married and have kids, but God has not put that piece of the puzzle together yet.

I decided to start in the middle of the puzzle, with Joesph, Mary, and Baby Jesus. This was were the most color was, so I thought it be the easiest place to start.  I soon found that where I thought a piece should fit, is not were it went at all.  Pieces that were the same color and same shape were not fitting together.  At one point I thought that there was something wrong with the puzzle.  At times that how I feel about my life.  What I think should go together, feels hard and not fitting together.  My heart desire is to be married.  At the age of 35, I hoped I would be married and have kids.  I admit that I thought once I moved out of South Dakota, I would find the man of my dreams and live "Happily Ever After!"  It be that easy!  I thought God would bless my request because I was following Him.  

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper yo and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

"But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be" 1 Corthinians 12:19

 Just as each piece of a puzzle has a specific place, I believed that God has a plan for each one of us.   We all have a specific place and purpose God has called us.  I believe that God has called me to Oregon and Mark 2 Ministries.   I finally feel that Oregon is were I am suppose to be.  I always knew I wanted to work with people with disabilities and I get to do that at Mark 2 Ministries; which is great fit for me.  They have supported me in my disability and working part time.  Even though it was hard was to go part time, it was perfect fit for me.  When I was working full time, I had no energy to work out or do my physical therapy and I gained a bunch of weight.  About this time I went to see a new doctor.     Again this was a perfect because I later learned that he specialize in cerebral palsy; which is hard to find once you become adult.    Also when going to part time, I learned that to apply for SSDI you had to work five full years; which was the exact numbers of years I worked.  

"For we are God's masterpeice.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."  Ephesians 2:10

I have no idea what God has planned for me, but I do know He is fitting the pieces together.  I hope that some day I will meet the man of my dreams and have kids.  In the meantime; I will trust His plan and keep doing puzzles.  

"Everything that happens fits into a pattern for good, to those who love Me."  Romans 8:28