A letter to Cerebral palsy from a girl with a broken leg

Dear Cerebral Palsy,

There was a time in my life I hated you.  I thought you were a curse.  You were my worst enemy.  You caused me so much headache.  I came into the world on April 15th, 1981, with you right by my side.  My right side to be exact!!  Due to a lack of oxygen, we came united.  We came a hour and eight minutes after my twin sister Brooke.

Growing up you were my worst enemy.  I wanted you to go away, to hide you, but you went everywhere I went.  You would follow me to school.  This caused me lots of heartache.  I just wanted to fit in with my peers, do what they did.  I would get called last to play on the team.  In middle and high school I had to go to Physical therapy at school instead of gym class, because of you.  Again this made me not like you.  Also in school, you created it to be hard for me.  It was hard to remember things like history.  I felt different.  My sisters were so good at school, and I felt like something was wrong with me.   It took me longer to do my homework and test, so I would go to special ed classroom

But I am one determined  girl, and I wasn't going to let you defined me.  Brooke was on the swim team, so I joined the swim team.  You wouldn't let me kick my right leg, this made me be slower then all the rest.    My determination was stronger then your will.  I would go to swim meets and compete with the other kids my age.  You made me be last out of the pool, but I wouldn't let you defeat me.

In high school, cerebral palsy, you made me feel very lonely.  I stayed at home a lot because I worried what people thought of me.  I thought I was you.  I thought people didn't like me, because of you.  You caused me to get teased through out school.  Because of the lack of oxygen at birth, my speech was also effected.   I wanted to do what everyone else was doing, I wanted to be "normal." 

As I got older, something big happen.  I met my best friend.  Unlike you, you can't see Him, but I know he here!  It all started when I was going to see a counselor because of you.  I told my counselor that I hated you, I wanted you gone, out of my life!  But we both knew that wasn't possible, was it.!!  My new best friend is Jesus.  He has taught me that you are a gift from Him.  A gift?  But there was a man named Paul in the book Jesus wrote, the Bible.  Paul felt the same way as I did.  He had a enemy, and ask God to take it away three times!  But Jesus told him no, "My grace is all you need.  My power is made best in weakness."  This is when I decided that Jesus is stronger then you.

 I was looking for a way to be accepted, and I found the Way.  Jesus said, I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  Jesus taught me to see you through His eyes.  In John 9:2, the disciples asked "Rabbi, why was this man born blind?"  Jesus answered, "This happened so the power of God could be seen in him."  Jesus taught me that it was His way and purpose for me to have you in my life.  That I am blessed because of you.

Me and my sisters!  We all look a like and sometimes think alike.  We all went to college and got degrees  yes, even me!!!

I will be honest I still struggle with you.  The biggest struggle I have is trying to explain you to other people.  You effect everyone differently.  Cerebral palsy, you, have four different types and you can range from mild to serve.  Some people can have developmental delays, whiles others have only physical delays.  The problem I have with you, is that  you cause  some people to assume that my disability is worse then it is.  You have only effected my walking and my speech. Mine is very mild, but some people don't know that.   People that don't personally know me assume that I can't live and work independently.  When I try to tell them something, they hear something totally different.  Like the other day, I was at the office, I was talking to a lady, and trying to tell her that I like to walk, so I don't get board.  She thought I said I was board and needed something to do.  She tried to give me a job to do, when I didn't need anything to do at all.  I was so frustrated with you!! 
Sometimes on the phone, people think there is something wrong with me.  I get asked, "oh did I wake up" in the middle of the day.  People are shocked when I tell them I drive, have a job, have a college degree.  Cerebral Palsy, I finally figured it out, for those people that don't get it.  All you have done is given my an accent and a broken leg. 
I feel like Jesus in John 10.  "It was now winter, and Jesus was in Jerusalem at the time of Hanukkah, the Festival of Dedication.  He was in the Temple.  The people surrounded Him and asked, "How long are you going to keep us in suspense?  If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly."  Jesus replied, "I have already told you and you did not believe me."  John 10:22-25

Even as a little girl I was trying to keep up with my siblings!!

I feel this way so many times in my life.  No matter what I say, how I say it, or how many times I say, some people just don't get it!    I want to challenge you who are reading my blog.  Next time you encounter someone who may look different, please don't assume that their mind is broken.  They probably think, and live just like you.  Give them time to explain their differences and listen to what they are really saying.  and please, if you don't understand, ask questions!

For you Cerebral Palsy, I do have to thank you.  You have played a role in my life.  I now can see you as a blessing.   Their are special people in my life that I have met because of you.  You have made me be more determined to be more active.  So even though you may slow me down, you can't stop me from living a normal life like my sisters!!

Sincerely,
The girl with a broken leg!

Yes, I drive!!! My car I bought last year



 

Run with perseverance: Team Bri 2015!

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize."  1 Corth 9:24

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles us.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus."  Hebrew 12:1

I did it!!!  I walked my second 5k.  Not only that, but I did it in under a hour and half!!   We set a goal to do try to finish in a hour and a half.  My official time was one hour and 17 minutes!!!   At the beginning of the race Lancette, Kyrie, and I were the walkers of the group and Ward, Noah, Derek, and Amber were the runners.  Lancette and I decided that as long as we could see people in front of us, we were good.  There were 2 ladies with a strollers always a little head of us. 

The walkers!  Getting Ready to start

Team Bri!!!  Thank you guys for you support!!  I love you guys!

I met Ward back in South Dakota.  He was my physical therapist part of middle school and high school.  I gave Ward a lot of grief back then, my favorite word was "I can't!"  He was someone I looked up too, during a very hard time of getting teased in school.  I didn't always like going to PT, because again I just wanted to be normal.  I couldn't to gym class and went to therapy instead.  He made my PT fun, even though he tried to make me use a cane in high school!!!  NOT COOL!!!!  hehehe!!  One day for PT we walked down to Goldberger's for ice-cream.    After Lancette and him moved to Reno, I kept in touch with them and there family.   We have known each other for 20 years!  They are some of my greatest friends


Me and Ward.  My first time in Reno 12 years ago!!

About at the half way point, our runners came back and joined us!!!  This is where I  started to get tired.  At one point my walking stick was getting shorter.  I said "My pole is going down."  Amber thought I said "I'm going down!"  It was fun to see all the people cheering for us.   The whole way there were police monitoring the race.  And the end of the race they all were telling me good job.  

At one point, Lancette said I would probably cry at the end.   She was right, I was crying and laughing at the same time!!  I didn't catch the leprechaun, but at the end he came up at took a picture with me!  I might have been that last one to cross the finish line, but I finished!!!


The Leprechaun was at the end waiting to pose for a picture with me!!  

Crossing the finish line!!!

People say that I am an inspiration, but I don't see myself as that.  I just a normal girl who wants to do what everyone else can do.  I remember being younger and wanting to do everything my sisters did.  I didn't want my cp to hold me back.  I remember we had a tree out in our backyard.  My sisters would climb up it, and I would get mad because they wouldn't "Help me" to get up the tree.  Now I look back I see how crazy that was to try to climb a tree, but at the time I was determined to get up there!!!!  I remember telling my mom I wanted to be on the swim team with Brooke.  She said, "Brianne, you are terrified of water!!"  Which I was, but with the help of Mr. Phillips I got to do a normal sport and be part of a team!!




After Cinderella! 

I guess my hope is that I can inspire others to get out there and try something new.   I am learning that we only get one body and one life to do it.  I have learned that we need to take care of our bodies.  There was a time in my life, where I didn't want to work out, go for a walk, or do PT.  During that time I was more tired and stressed, then I am now.   I use to hate how I walk, but know that I am exercising I am walking the best I ever have!  There still are days I wish I could walk "normal", or keep up with everybody in a 5k, but I am grateful for what the Lord has given me!  Without cerebral palsy, I wouldn't have met some of my greatest friend!!