Hand out from Woman weekend.

Woman's Discipleship Weekend 2014

Brianne Alley

briannealley@gmail.com

How did you get to Washington Family Ranch?

After graduating college in Dec 2005, I was going to become a YL leader, but the Lord called me to live with my sister and her kids in South Dakota followed by several months with my mom in Iowa. I figured that YL was not in my future anymore. After months of looking for a job, my friend, who did YL in NM called and said she found me a job in OR, at a YL camp. It was with a ministry that partners with Washington Family Ranch called Mark 2. Mark 2 is a ministry to people with disabilities and I had always had a desire to work with people with similar and different disabilities than I do. I got the job and moved sight unseen with one suitcase and hopes for a better life with new experiences and better weather. That was in January of 2007 and I've been here ever since.  My family did not think I be here this long.

What does your life look like here at the Ranch?

As I mentioned I work at Mark 2, a ministry here at the Ranch with adult with disabilities who volunteer here to help make this a beautiful place where campers or guests can come and experience Christ . When I came I work full time as a Job Coach for 5 years. About 2 years ago I realized full time work was too taxing on my body. The Lord opened the door for me to go to part-time at Mark 2 and now I am a Daily Living Coach. Part of my job is to do the fun community things with the friends that Mark 2 supports.

I feel like my life experience with a disability allows me to connect with the friends that I work with in a real tangible way as I can relate to many of their struggles, feelings and experiences. I love that I can see God using my disability to help others. God has blessed me with a community here that sees me without my disability. They value my disability, but they don't define me by my disability. They see me as Brianne, a friend, a co-worker, a Ranch community member and a sister in Christ. I had never experienced this type of belonging before moving here...to the middle of nowhere.

 

What has God been teaching you these last two years?

Growing up with a disability, the enemy told me that I didn't have value and that I was not worthy of other people's time. I grew up with depression and anxiety. I hated that I was disabled. I grew up around a lot of people who would make fun of me and I always felt like a inconveniences to others. I had a lot of people that didn't want to take the time to get to know me or hang out with me.

I started going to doctors as soon as I was born. Doctors were scary for me, and I felt insecure about taking up their time. I felt like my doctors dismissed me, my disability and my depression. I always questioned if I was even important enough to have someone help me. I often wondered if I could even be helped. It wasn't until recently that I have even begun to see myself as valuable “A daughter of the King” and worthy of doing what is best for me and creating a team of people to help me overcome some of these fears and old tapes of negative thinking.

I got to this point because I was working full time for Mark 2 and it was more than my body could handle and I began to be more depressed. I gained 35 pound because I lost my motivation to exercise and food seemed to fill an emotional need. I have struggled with food all my life. Food has been my companion, my friend. I didn't always have a lot of friends, but I had food. It finally became a problem when I didn't have motivation to exercise or really do much at all. That's when the weight piled on.

#2 Bri, how did you create a team to help you take this monumental step in putting yourself and your health first.


It was hard to start. I came up with many reasons not to call someone to help me. I thought “I'm not that bad,” I can't afford it, it is too far to drive, and I can't take time off work. It was an emotional roller coaster as I wrestled with Satan about my value and worthiness of being helped.

After much encouragement from my friends and prayer I got the courage to call and see a PT for some foot pain about two years ago. She suggested that I go see a PM&R Dr. Again, I wrested with Satan about going to see Dr. Paulson. It was so hard because I didn't think I was important enough to see someone for help. But I stepped out in faith and trusted the Lord that this was where He was leading me. It was really hard and I was terrified. The first time going to see Dr. Paulson, he spent the whole hour with me, and went over every detail of my body and how it was working. Though his words and in his actions, he made me feel important and that it was good that I came to see him. He then proceed to tell me that I needed to loose weight, because with my CP it was not good for my bones and joints to be as big as I was. At that time I was 175 lbs. I told him I love food! He suggested that I go to see a nutritionist. He also suggest that I start riding my bike 30 min/day. My nutritionist taught me how to count carbs, instead of calories. She helped me learn not to give up sweets, but to count the carbs in them and use portion control. The hardest part was going home, getting on the bike and just starting. That day started this two year journey of losing weight.

#3 How have you kept going in your journey to a healthier body, mind and spirit?





The girls getting close to the finish line

One night I was watching The Biggest Loser, I saw these kids doing a 5k. I thought I want to do that. So after calling my friend Ward (my PT from high school), he told me that if I started small, he thought I could work my way up to a 5k. So I set a goal to walk a 5k at spring break in Reno with him and his family. I started to go to the Sport Center and walking on the treadmill. At first I only could go about 1.2 speed, but the more I did it the faster I got and the longer I could go. Ward told me that if I could get to 2 miles, then I could easily do a 5k. During this time, I realize how much better I felt and how much better my walking was. I was walking a lot straighter and taller, which for me was very important. I also notice the pounds falling off my body and eventually I lost 30 lbs. In March 2014 I flew down to Reno and did my 5k with Ward, his family, and his co-workers. My training had paid off and I accomplished my goal.



One of the most important things the Lord has taught me during this process is that He gave me this body and CP and that I need to take of it. The Scripture that comes to mind is 1 Corinthians 6:19 “Don't you realize that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God. You must honor God with your body.”.

I have learned that it is important for me with CP to workout to stay healthy for my lifetime. One benefit of starting to exercise has been the difference I've seen in my walking. I walk much straighter and this helps me present myself the way I believe God sees me. I feel so much better. My confidence has grown so much since moving to the Ranch. I now can say that I love who God created me to be, and I am thankful for the body He choose me to have, CP and all!!! I am worthy! With God's help I believe I have been able to do something that I never dreamed was possible. If I can do this even with a disability...you can do what God is asking you to do in your journey too.

If you would like to know more about Mark 2 Ministries where Brianne is involved in here at Washington Family Ranch. Check out their website at www.mark2inc.com.   

Bri's Testimony

Here is the link to my testimony. 
http://youtu.be/DhbFjVbAdhQ

Sorry, it is very quiet, so listen up!!! 

Like I have told some of you, I feel that God may be doing something with this.  Here is a verse He gave me last week!!  Goosebumps!!

Jerimiah 1:1-10
"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb.  Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."  "O Sovereign Lord" I (Jerimiah) said, "I can't speak for you!  I am too young."
"The Lord replied, "Don't say, I am too young, for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you.  Don't be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you.  I, the Lord have spoken.  Then the Lord reached out and  touched my mouth and said, "Look I have put my words in your mouth.  Today, I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms."


I want to say, "Lord, I can't talk for you, I have cerebral palsy!!!"  (Like He doesn't know that!!!!)  "People can't understand me, I can't understand myself!!"  But, as I learned 2 weeks ago, the Lord will put the words in my mouth and will speak through me!!!

A little girl with a broken leg .

The last week in my quite times with the Lord have been crazy.  He has been really speaking to my heart about teaching.  I always thought I wanted to be an elementary teachers.  I had a heart for children, but that is not the path God had for me.  After college I moved to Oregon to work with Mark 2, a ministry that supports adults with developmental disabilities.  It was here that God taught me that I am a teacher.  I am teaching them life skills and job skills.  To be honest they are teaching me to be the woman God wanted me to be.  Now I feel like the Lord may have bigger plans for me then I could ever dream of.
 Jeramiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord, "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future, and a hope."  He may be calling me to be a teacher of a different kind, of His word. 

In high school I really struggled with my appearance (as we all do).  As I got older, I realize that God gave a picture image of who I looked like. He gave me my identical twin, Brooke.  But in high school I could not see that.  She would get mad at me, because I would stand in front of the mirror and call myself "ugly."  She would say "Well if you are ugly, you are calling me ugly!"  I would tell her no that was not right.  She was beautiful!!   My other sisters would always comment how I had great legs.  I was a swimmer!!!  But I thought they were nuts!!  I had scares all over my legs from the surgeries, and my right leg and knee were crooked!!!  I was so broken inside, I couldn't see the outside. 

One day in college, my professor told me I needed to go see a counselor, because she could see how broken I was inside, even though I thought I could hide it with my smile!!!  That day I went!   I told my counselor that I hated my CP.  I said it wasn't fair.  Why did I get this!!!  He asked me if I believed in Jesus.  I grew up catholic.  I knew there was a God,but I didn't get the relationship, all my college friends were taking about.

As I kept going to see him, he told that Jesus gave me my CP.  I was open to what he had to say, but I believed that the Bible had nothing to say about disabilities.  Boy, was I wrong!!!!!  He pointed me to 2 Corinthians 12.  Paul had a "thorn" in his flesh.  My counselor told me that we have no idea what that "thorn" was.  I think a lot of people believe that Paul was blind.  But to me and my counselor we thought it could be cerebral palsy.  Paul asked God to take it away 3 times.  Oh, I think I have asked God more then 3 times to take it away!!  But each time the Lord answered, "My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness."  vs 9..
It also says in verse 10, "So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

The Lord has really changed my heart towards my CP.  Yes I still struggle, but I know God is using my CP for His glory!

Another story I love is in John 9.  "As he went along, he saw a man born blind from birth.  His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind."  "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, " said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him."  John 9:1-3

For twenty years, I thought I did something wrong, to deserved to be disabled.  That I was my fault.  I didn't understand why nobody wanted to hang out with me, so there must have been something wrong that I did.  But the past 10 years of walking with Jesus, He has taught me that He has blessed me with cerebral palsy.  He touched my weak little body and has healed me from the inside out!!

Risk Vulnerability

If you are still waiting to see my video, hang on, it is coming!!!

I have never seen myself as a speaker or an author, but friends have told me that I should write a book.  I remember in college, my friend Sarah, an English major, always said "I'm going to write a book about you!"  I would just laugh at her, and think "Why?"  Now I have a feeling that God is going to use my story.  Maybe not a book, yet!  He asked me to start blogging about my journey.  From a broken little girl, in South Dakota, to a "Women of God, redeemed by Jesus Christ."  He ask me to risk my vulnerability, and trust Him that He is using my story.

This is Lead, my home town.  Where my journey began!!
 

   In high school and college I suffered from depression and anxiety.   I am not sure a lot of people knew this about me.  I would go to school with a smile on my face, and with the words of mom in my heart, "Treat everyone the way you want to be treated."  I wanted to make my mom and my teachers proud.  But what people may not know is that I was dying inside.  I was alone!   Someone once told me that I was popular and liked, that "You were PROM Queen!!!"  But just because I was prom queen, didn't mean I didn't feel empty inside, Alone!!  Yes, I knew everyone in high school, and everyone knew me, but that didn't matter.   There were days I questioned God (or who I thought god was), and questioned even if I should even exist anymore.  What kept me going, was knowing that I couldn't do that to my mom.   I was confused, my mom taught me to treat everyone the way I wanted to be treated, but I felt like nobody was doing the same to me.  I was teased, mocked for my speech, and ignored.  And I started to believes the lies I heard.  "Your worthless,"  "Nobody likes you," "You are stupid."  "You are unwanted."  and so many more.   As a side note, these are the feeling, I FELT, and the lies the enemy told me, and how my heart saw my world!!


Summer in Lead.

 Now with the help of Jesus Christ I have claimed the truth, "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus."  Romans 8:1  Let me be honest, this has been a very hard truth to claim, for so many years, all mind could hear, were those lies that the enemy wanted me to claim.  I was so good a condemning myself.

In school I felt so different. As I get older, I am learning that many women felt the same, and still feel the same.  There is a song with the words, "I was hunger child, a dried up river, a burned out forest, and nobody could do anything for me...." 

This was my song.  I love my family, and they walked through alot with me during those dark days.  Those were deep dark days, for me and I could not see a light at the end of the tunnel.  But, Glory to God, there was light coming.....






If you don't know, Deadwood and Lead are "twin cities."
consider them both my hometown and my heart will always be
tied to them. 

Women's weekend 2014... Rooted in Love

"Blessed is she who Believed"  Luke 1:45

This past weekend was our 3rd annual Women's Retreat here at Washington Family Ranch.  This year we had the special privilege of having Beth Moore simulcast live.  Last spring I felt like the Lord was telling me that I need to share my journey of my weight lose.  I told my friend, Lisa, who lives out here at the ranch what the Lord was saying to me.  She totally agreed.  So this past week, with Lisa's help, I sat down and wrote out part of my story.  The crazy thing is usually I am so nervous about getting up in front of a group, but I had so much peace about getting up in front of 150 women.  As the day arrived, we decided to print out hand out, in case some people that couldn't hear me or understand me. 
One of my greatest fears that God has been working on with me, pretty much all my life, is my speech.  Because I been teased for it, it is a great fear of mine.
 
I came into a relationship with Jesus during college.  I was going to see counselor during this time.  I was telling him that I hated my cerebral palsy, and I really hated my speech.  I would freak out every time I had to get up in front of class to do a presentation.  He told me about the story of Moses.  Moses had a speech impediment.  God told Moses, to go tell Pharaoh (the king) to let the people go.  Moses asked God "Who am I to lead  the people out of Egypt?"  Moses told God he was not very good at words.  I get tongue-tied and my words get tangled."  Ex 4  Verse 11 says, Then the Lord asked Moses, "Who makes a person's mouth?  Who declares whether people speak or do not speak, or hear or do not hear, see or do not see?  Is it not I, the Lord?   Now go!  I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say."  Exodus 4:11-12

My senior year of college I had to do a group presentation in one of my psychology classes.  My consoler and I talked about this verse, and I had to put my trust in the Lord that He would speak through me.  The day of my presentation, I prayed that God would speak through me.  Everyone in the class said that was the best I ever spoken.  (Most of these classmates were in a lot of my classes, b/c I was minoring in Psychology.  So they heard me talk a lot.)

So Saturday at the Woman's weekend the day of my testimony I gave my testimony at dinner time.  I totally felt the Peace of God, all day.  I gave my testimony!!  The crazy thing was, I wasn't nervous at ALL!!!!  I got up on stage and spoke like I was with a group of friends.  (Totally the Holy Spirit!!!)  After I was done, my friend Jessica, (who was hosting the weekend) told me that that was the best and clearest she ever heard me speak!!!  (Again the Holy Spirit!!!)

As I said, this weekend we watch Beth Moore on simulcast.  She was talking about "Being a female well."  one of her points was that "Jesus changes the story of every woman He meets!' 
This was totally me!  All weekend women were coming up to me and thanking me for sharing.  One women came up to me and told me I gave her hope for her daughter's step sister who has CP.   On Sunday, this lady came up to me and ask me to lay hands on her and pray for her.  I was thinking, "Who am I, I am just a little girl from South Dakota." 

As I come to a close on this blog, I want to say that the video that I will post (soon!) is just part of the journey of what God has had me on the past 2 years. 

Jesus has changed my story.  I been walking with Jesus for a little over 10 years.  The Lord has changed my world.  My counselor, back in college, taught me that Jesus gave me this disability.  In 2 Corinithians 12:9 Paul wrote, "My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness."  There has been many days of hating my disability.  (see video)  But I know now that Jesus gave me CP for a purpose!

The last point Beth talked about was "Every woman is well able to share how Jesus changing her story."  I believe that God is going to use me more in sharing my story. 

So I hope you can watch and enjoy how God changed my life!!!