A Journey of Faith has Brought Me to the Middle of Nowhere!

"The Lord says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway of your life.  I will advise you and watch over you."  Psalms 32:8




The view of coming into camp!!! Breathe taking!!!

Eight years ago, I set out on an unknown journey.  I graduated college in December of 2007.  After graduating, my best friend from college, Kate, and her husband were starting Young Life in Custer SD.  I didn't know a lot about Young Life, but for what Kate had told me of it.  I decided that I was going to move to Custer to be a leader with Kate and Mike.  This was a volunteer position, but I believed God would provide me a job. 

 During that time, the Rapid City Young Life was talking about taking students to camp in Canada.  I thought, "How cool would that be to go to a Young Life camp".  I didn't really know what is was about, but I was learning about Young Life from Kate.   After I moved all my things down to Custer, I was laying in bed one night.  Clear as a bell I heard God say, "Move in with Brittany."  I thought, that crazy I just moved all my things to Custer!!!!"  But it was so clear and I had so much peace about it.

So the next morning, I asked my aunt if it would be crazy not to move to Custer, but to move in with Brittany.  I told her that what I felt God told me to the night before.  She said, no that is not crazy, and agreed it was the Lord speaking.  So I moved in with Brittany, Baylie, and soon to be Jax!!!!  I figured that Young Life was probably not going to be part of my life anymore, since I really didn't know a lot about it.  I was really excited to live with Britt and her kids, but was kind of bummed I would probably never experience a Young Life camp!  I had no idea what the Lord had in store for me!!!  As I look back, I thank God that I got those 10 months with Baylie and Jax!!  During those 10 months I worked at the Northern Hills Training Center.  (Which will be important later in the blog!)

Nicole and me and at the pool!!!  We are both from the Midwest

 That October, with the encouragement of Brittany, I moved to Iowa with my mom.  I knew I always wanted to move out of SD.  Sorry SD friends, but I didn't like the weather there, and I wanted more opportunities!   I didn't know what I wanted to do, all I knew is that I needed a job.  After a three months of looking for a job, Kate found a job in Oregon.  It was at a Young Life camp in Central Oregon!!!!

The job was for a job coach position at Mark 2, working with developmental disabled adults.  I was a job coach at the NHTC.  I knew I wanted to work with disabilities, but after the NHTC, I wasn't as excited as I once was.  I knew job coaching was a hard job.  When I was at the NHTC, I was struggled with my self-image and how others viewed me as a staff with a disability.  This was my own personal struggle, and what I only thought myself.  So I wasn't sure if working with developmental disabled adults was something I really wanted to do!  But I needed a job.  Three months feels like forever when you are looking for a job.  But now I see God hand on it! 



Just some of the friends I met here at camp!!!  It really a family away from family!
This was a fundraiser they had to get me a scooter!!!

I always knew I wanted to move away, but Oregon felt really far away.  It took her about 3 weeks to convince me to apply for the job, and since I had no other options I thought I might as well try it!  To my surprise I got offered the job. 

"Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow."  Psalms 25:4

That was 8 years ago!!!  The Lord has done so many things for me during these eight years!   I thought I was coming to Oregon for a job, but God had bigger plans.  I came to Oregon as a very broken girl.  I had very low self-image.  God took a very broken girl and has made me a Woman who knows she is created by her Father in Heaven!  

"He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of morning, festive praise instead of despise."  Isiah 61:3

I have fallen in love with Central Oregon!!  The hardest part is not being my family, and not being able to see the kids grow up, but I feel like God had has grown my independence so much.  Central Oregon has become my home and I am excited to see what else God has in store for me here!



Marrianne, she has become another family member of mine!

"And everyone who gives up houses or brothers or sisters or fathers or mothers or children or property, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and inherit eternal life."  Matt 19:29



I love this verse because, it was so hard to leave my family, my life as I knew it and go out into the unknown world of Oregon.  But I am so grateful I took this leap of faith, and been amazed to see faithfulness these 8 years!




 

A Little Mudd on the Tires!

Me at the river, not yesterday!  I love the river!

 

Yesterday I had great learning experience!  God taught me a great lesson about being stuck in the mud.  Yep! MUD!!  It was a beautiful day out here at the ranch.  We decided to spend our day outside for work.  After lunch, we all decided to go for a little walk.  During our walk, we had a great idea to drive down to the river.  The John Day River is about 3-4 miles from our house.  The road is a gravel road.  It is a pretty easy drive down there.  As we got closer to the river, there is one spot that is wash out.  Usually, this spot is not a big deal.  But yesterday it looked very muddy.  I thought I could go around the area, thinking the ground would be solid.  I quickly found out it wasn't!!!  I was stuck!  I tried to back up and go forward, but nothing!!  The more I tried the deeper I was stuck!  The tires just spun and spun.

Praise God, before we left the house, I told one of the girls to grab the camp radio.  I  hate using the radio, b/c it hard to understand me, but I had no choice.  So I got up the courage to make a call.  I asked if anyone was down by the river.  My friend Jake told me he would come rescue me!  As we waited for Jake, I decided we needed to pray.  I prayed more for myself, not to beat myself up.  I am really good at beating myself up.  I felt so stupid!!!  A couple minutes after praying I saw a 4 wheeler coming towards up.  I thought, that can't be Jake, because Jake would be coming from the opposite direction.  My friend Ben pulled up, and said, "You look stuck!"  Um, yes!!!  I kept telling Ben I felt so stupid.  Ben was so excited though.  He loves to pull things out of the mud!   He looked in his tool box and found a rope.   He decided the best way to pull me out was from the back.  So he hooked the car up and told me to gas the car a little bit.  At about that time, Jake showed up!   Jake and I switch positions.  Ben and Jake pulled the car out in a jiffy!!!  They both a had huge smiles on their faces!  I kept saying, I can't believe I got stuck!  But Ben said he was so excited to pull me out.  Later on he said that he was so proud that his 4 wheeler did the job!!

A couple hours later, I was still beating myself up.  Then I felt like God told me, "Your thoughts are like the tires in that mud.  You can keep beating yourself up, and thinking about the situation over and over.  All they are going to do, is spin and spin.  The more they spin, the deeper they will go!! "

I had a choice I could think of the negative thoughts and dig myself deeper into a hole, or I could praise God that He took care of me.  I am my biggest critic.  We all get stuck sometime, if it is the mud or in our thoughts.  But it what you do, after you get stuck.  Are you going to spin your wheels, and dig deeper, or are you going to call out for help.  I want to be the one to call out for help, if it from a friend or for Jesus, or both!!

Me friend snapped this picture of me at the river!! 
The river is a great place to talk to God!

"Ask me and I  will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come."  Jeremiah 33:3

"Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for."  Matthew 7:7

"My thoughts are not your thoughts," say the Lord.  And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine

 

."  Isaiah 55:8

 

 

"Speak the truth in love."  Ephesians 4:15

 

 

I been wanting to write a blog about what we say to each other for awhile now.  This week it has been on my mind a lot.  I said something to a friend, that now I wish I could take back.  In the moment, it seemed so harmless, but now that a couple days have past, I wish I never said it.

I think we all can feel that way at times.  We walk away from a conversation, thinking "What did I just say?"  If you are like me, you are thinking, you are the worst person to world.  For me I been very sensitive to people words, ever since I was young.  I wish I wasn't, but that how God made me.  But can you blame me, for so much of my childhood years, I got called very hurtful words by some peers.  I  start to believe it after awhile. 

 

I think we, including myself, still can use our words as weapons.   I think Jesus wants us to build each other up, and not tear each other down.  I know for me, I am more hurtful with my words to the people I am closest to.  I notice that I treat the people that I less relationship with, so much kinder, then my closest family and friends!  I hate this about myself.  I want to build up these people not tear them down!!

Gearing up for my 5k!

"Do to others as you would like them to do to you."  Luke 6:31

I am learning  that you can never take your words back!   Right after I said something to my friend, I wanted to take it back.  Easers the moment!  But I couldn't!  I am also learning to remember who I am talking to.  For me, because of my past, I am not good with sarcasm.  I am growing in this and not taking people as serious as I use to.   But because I been teased, sometimes I can't tell if people are being "funny" or just mean.  When I tell a friend something, I need to ask myself, "Can they handle what I about to tell them?"   Not all of us can handle the same information, or approach of how it is said. 

For me, there are some stuff I can not handle.  I use to get mad at myself, because I would cry and get my feelings hurt.  I would think I was a horrible person, and should changed, be better at sarcasm. But the Lord has taught me that just who I am, and it is ok.  I use to apologize for crying.  One of my friend's here at camp, never apologizes for crying.  She knows that she is a crier, and she is ok with it. God gave us the ability to cry for a reason.
  
All this to say, I want to be better with my words.  Am I building up or tearing down?  Am I treating people, with my word, the way I want to be treated?  Am I loving my closest friends and family with my word? 

"Don't look out only for your own interest, but take an interest in others, too."  Philippians 2:4


This is something God is working on in me!  I might fail at it time to time, so please forgive me if m words are hurtful to you.