I long to be married and have a family. One of my biggest dreams is to be a mom. I know I have many children in my life, and love each one of them, but to be a mom is my deepest desire. I haven't been in many relationships, and struggle that maybe there is something wrong with me. I know that this is not true, but at the age of 34 it crosses my mind every now and then. I know the Lord gave me my disability, and I do see it as a blessing. But to be honest, it is hard in this area of my life. Sometimes I believe the lie that nobody will love me, because of it. I know that is a lie!!
Today I woke up and decided to listen to a sermon of a church my friend goes to. Pastor Toby was preaching out of 1 Samuel. I don't know a lot about the Old Testament, but the story of Hannah really spoke to me.
Hannah was married to Elkanah, who had two wives. Hannah didn't have children, while the other wife did. This made Hannah very sad. 1 Samuel 1:9 "Once after a sacrificial meal at Shiloh, Hannah got up and went to pray. Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord. And she made this vow, 'O Lord of Heaven's Armies, if you will love up upon my sorrows and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you."
The priest Eli watched her pray and said to her, "Go in peace! May the God of Israel grant you the request you have made." The Lord remembered Hannah, and in due time, she gave birth to a son named Samuel.
Hannah's story was so encouraging me today on Valentine Day. I have felt like Hanna many times, forgot by God. Pastor Toby reminded us that God remembered her. God doesn't forget us. God timing is perfect. Today I was talking to my sister Molly, about my struggles on Valentine Day. But then I remembered how blessed I am. God has been so good to me. He has blessed me with a great job, a great community, many friends and my family. And as Molly reminded me today I am loved by so many people! I my not have a husband to buy me roses, kids to love on (yet), but my life is filled with love and joy from the Lord.
Pastor Toby said "Life will often be disappointing and painful." It what we do in those times, trust God. Pastor Toby went on to say, "God makes no promises of what you ask for, but you trust and pray, because He is good and sovereign. Everything will work out for His good.
There are so many things in my life to be joyful about. God has done some incredible things in my life. When am rejoicing about being single, I am reminded of the things I get to do because of it. For example, I get to go skiing for spring break this year. I pray that one day I will have my own family, but in the mean time, I get to love on my friend's kids, and be loved by so many people in my life!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment